About Michelle

So, I’ve never had an ‘about’ page. Apparently, I am supposed have an about page.

Honestly, I’ve been putting it off because I don’t know what to say and whenever I think about it I get bored and cranky and I end up doing something else.

Anything else.

No more procrastination. Here I am in 500 words or less:

I’ve been with Randy more than 3 times the length of any other relationship which is saying something considering I’ve been married more than twice.

For the record, I think EVERY woman deserves a middle husband to forget about.

Randy and I have collected 4 children over the years, they range between 13 and 28 years. And from these children, 3 grandchildren have spawned. I got to be there for the birth of the most recent baby girl. I fulfilled the role of booby scratcher throughout the labor process.

I work as a computer programmer and it is eating my soul every day that I am there. But as I am very attached to my weekly paycheck, I will continue to have my soul sucked out Monday through Fridays and look forward to every vacation day, sick day and holiday weekend.

I started writing this blog a few months in to my goal to drop my excess tonnage. Randy and I began this process on June 13, 2010. So, as of today, we are almost a year into it. He has lost 115+ lbs. I have not lost quite as much.

When I started, I was 47 years old. Just a hair over 5’2″, 207 lbs and was SQUEEZING into size 18s.

Nearly a year later? I’m down 40 lbs and I can either SQUEEZE into my 12s or I can fit into my baggy ass 14s. We usually choose the 14s. I’m so done with the squeezing.

We managed to lose the weight in spite of ourselves. Randy has food discipline, I have exercise discipline. We both lapse but we always recover. We haven’t stopped moving forward.

I have recently discovered the joys of weight lifting. And by joy, I mean I HATE it when I’m actually lifting weights, but I LOVE feeling up my muscles.

I love it in a way that can’t be completely healthy.

What else is there to say?

I love cherry koolaid.

I loathe yogurt with a blinding passion.

My eyesight is failing rapidly, but I don’t want to admit I really NEED to wear the trifocals I got a year ago.

I’m a complete Buffy and Angel dweeb.

I buy a LOT of flip flops.

I wear my hair in a ponytail all weekend because I am hair lazy from Friday evening until Monday morning.

I can dance, but I don’t.

I can’t sing at all, but I do anyway.

I’m not stopping until I can comfortably get into a size 8.

Any day now, I am going to stop obsessing over how long this is taking.



{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }

PurpleSkys November 2, 2011 at 12:54 pm

Holy moly…i absolutely adore your site…nice job Michelle, and keep up the awesomeness :) you will achieve your goal, i have no doubt.

Myself, i’ll be happy when i can comfortably fit back into a 12 ;)


ragemichelle November 2, 2011 at 1:32 pm

Hey! Nice to *see* you! Thanks so much!

We’re getting there..I’ve taken a few steps back and am working my way back to ‘forward’.


PurpleSkys November 3, 2011 at 7:49 am

You’re most welcome :) I love your blunt honesty, especially the story about the girl at the grocery store…I’m not sure I would have been as restrained as you….

I had been on “the right path” at the first of the summer, but ran into a couple minor set backs. Our daughter and I had an incident back in July (she mistakenly jumped on my lower stomach) that set me on my butt for about three weeks. Just when I finally started feeling more normal and had stepped up my workout routine, I pulled the muscles in my chest, upper back, and shoulders lifting boxes; they weren’t heavy by any means, but a tad awkward to carry. That set me back another three weeks or so. At risk of jinxing myself, this week has been the best I’ve felt in about two months. I’ve ramped my routine back up to where it was two months ago and now have to work on the food thing. Food and I have a love/hate relationship…I love all the yummy stuff – like pizza, burgers, chocolate, etc. – but I hate that all it does is accumulate on my hips and ass. Although, this year, I noticed it has taken up residence just about everywhere :( ugggg. I’ve taken up following your blog hoping to pick up some tips and tricks to give myself that kick in the pants that I need ;) .


ragemichelle November 3, 2011 at 8:42 am

Do yourself a favor and check out http://www.workoutnirvana.com Lot’s of help there!

And I’m glad you’re back on track. Injury sucks.


Cyllyn Lovdahl December 20, 2011 at 2:13 pm


Read parts of your blog and your “ABOUT MICHELLE” page – you absoletely cracked me up. Love your sense of humor!! Best of luck!!


Michelle December 20, 2011 at 3:36 pm

THank you!! I LOOOOVE new readers!


laura December 23, 2011 at 9:15 am

I think I love you!!!! :D


ragemichelle December 23, 2011 at 9:20 am

I’ll take all the lovin I can get, sister..


Lauri Rottmayer March 9, 2012 at 9:57 am

I like your about page and am looking through your blog now. Congrats on the weight loss and your ability to throw out the good info in an amusing way. :-)


Michelle March 9, 2012 at 10:04 am

Thank You, Laura

It would be more impressive if I hadn’t gained most of it back. :(

However..we are NOT looking behind us (because all we’d see is my big ass) We are moving forward…back on track and making progress!


sloan May 3, 2012 at 8:49 am

You go girl!


Michelle May 3, 2012 at 8:58 am

Thank you!!!


Jina @ Behold the Turtle June 11, 2012 at 9:53 pm

This is the most awesome “About” page I’ve ever read.


Michelle June 11, 2012 at 9:54 pm

Well hell..it doesn’t get better than THAT…thanks for that!


KatMByrne February 18, 2013 at 11:44 am

Oh! I <3 you so much! Other than being a (very) few years younger than you, we are twins! I am 5'2"-ish. I am 20…mumble, mumble, pounds. I had a great fitness streak that got me down to 189 and into my 14s. I got derailed by a health issue, but miracles of modern science (& radioactive isotopes) burned that fucker right out of me. Time to get SERIOUS again. I don't have TIME to fool around. Gotta get into the gym EVERY DAMN DAY and find my youth potion again! I had been feeling 10 yrs younger and now it's all crept back. LOVE reading you blog, but for the topics you pick?!?!? Stay out of my DAMN head!


Michelle February 18, 2013 at 11:55 am

Hahahah…I guess we’re all a lot more alike than we like to think…

I JUST TODAY started back with the no sugar lifestyle. I know the next three days are gonna suck..but I also know that within a few weeks, I’m gonna feel like Wonder Woman.

Now..go to the damn gym.


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