You know how you get a really good idea and you’re sure it’s going to work out just as you envisioned?
Well, Randy and I decided to go for a bike ride this morning at the Loveland bike trail. It’s a LOVELY trail. Also, when I say ‘we decided’ what I really mean is ‘Randy reluctantly agreed to go’.
As I try to write this, Randy is watching Do The Right Thing at a fairly high volume. My brain is trying to focus on this blog post, but then it hears Samuel L Jackson and perks up. Besides, Mookie and John Turturro are arguing and that shit is funny,
These are phrases spoken by Randy within 6 minutes of getting on the tandem bike:
“I am not enjoying this AT ALL”.
“This is really stressful”.
“Is the tire flat”?
I thought we were going to die. He was so tensed up that he was having a hard time controlling the bike. He also would randomly put the brakes on without telling me. I would be pedaling along, happy as a bike riding clam, when BLAM my pedals would freeze up. After a few shocks like that, I got a little annoyed.
One of the people I talk to on Twitter said that where they are from, they call tandem bikes ‘divorce bikes’.
I’m listening to Danny Aiello talk and that makes me think of the Papa Don’t Preach video and that makes think about Madonna. People are so fucking mean about Madonna. I think she looks incredible.
We made it about 20 minutes before giving up and trading our tandem bike in for two cruisers.
I suppose we should have considered the fact that Randy hasn’t been on a bicycle in 35 years. I probably should have insisted he got one with training wheels.
All in all, it was a beautiful morning. We also decided that we need to do this more often and buy our own bikes.
Not a tandem bike.