Vacations, Bird Shit and Lessons Learned

by Michelle on June 11, 2013

My mother emits a frequency that birds find attractive.

They seek her out and they poop on her. I swear. My father is a big Disney fan. No matter how poor we were, and we were MOSTLY poor, he found a way to get us to Florida as often as possible.  mud

Every. Single. Time we went, my mother got pooped on.

We went back two years ago for their 50th wedding anniversary and YES, she got pooped on.

That was my baby boy’s first trip to see the mouse and he REALLY wanted to go back.

So we did. Last month, Randy and Joey and I went to Disney. It was Randy’s first time there and to his credit, he didn’t bitch too much and even enjoyed himself more than he thought he would.

We were there for less than 2 hours before a bird shit on his head.

My mother says she feels much closer to him now.

Randy and I have been breaking out of the Winter doldrums and getting our asses in gear.

I thought walking up and down a mountain in Tennesse kicked my ass. That was NOTHING compared to the happiest place on earth.

It felt like my feet had been beat with hammers and by the end of the day each day I was lurching in such a fashion that I’m SURE other vacationers suspected the zombie apocalypse had begun.

I still have such a long way to go before I get in shape.

But that’s okay. I’ll just keep putting myself into situations and getting my ass kicked.

Next month I’m running in a 5k color run. My first 5k. Not only is it my first, but I’m on a team with people all of whom are young enough to be my children.

I won’t come in last, but I will come in tired.

Then in August, I’m doing some sort of mud thing with my uber fit friend at work.

There’s a good chance I’ll come in last for that one.

I don’t care. Sooner or later, I will be the ass kicker. Until then, I will happily get my ass kicked.

Plus, I’ll have some awesomely embarrassing pictures to post.



{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

Carin June 11, 2013 at 3:18 pm



Michelle June 11, 2013 at 3:21 pm

Ohhh..I will..I will…


Michelle June 11, 2013 at 8:56 pm

Supposedly, getting pooped on by a bird means good luck.


Michelle June 11, 2013 at 9:03 pm

No shit? hahahhaha


Eli@coachdaddy June 12, 2013 at 9:17 am

What you’ll find in your 5K is that with every younger person you pass – and you will pass some younger people – you will feel liberated. You probably will gain a pep in your step that won’t come at a price until way after you finish the race and all your parts get cold and achy.

And, better a bird than, say, a horse.


ragemichelle June 12, 2013 at 9:21 am

Thank you! That is encouraging! and you are right about the horse.


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