All Pain, No Gain

by Michelle on February 26, 2013

Hey! You know what sucks about the very beginning of getting into shape?

Every. Fucking. Thing.

EVERYTHING sucks.

Giving up sugar sucks ass. Sugar tastes good..sugar makes you feel good…sugar IS YOUR FRIEND! Had a bad day? Cookies make it feel a little better. Husband is being a dick? Visit Ben and Jerry, they are NEVER dicks. Except for when they discontinued Dastardly Mash, that was some bullshit.

Not having sugar already sucks on it’s own, because you miss it and it tastes good, THEN you get to deal with the sugar withdrawal. Headaches, fogginess, sweats. Withdrawal on top of pining for your lost friend is adding insult to no more fucking candy bars.

And it’s not just sugar. Fried food..loaded baked potatoes…really….all the food I find comforting either has to GO or it has to be in small doses and few and far between. Not feeling the upside to giving that shit up either.

Then there’s exercise. That shit takes time. VALUABLE loafing time. It’s sweaty. It’s hard and quite frankly, it’s kind of fucking boring. I’m supposed to walk past a dirty kitchen, unread books, sewing projects (if I could actually sew) and a teenage son that probably needs to be nagged about something to go work out? My feet hurt. I’m also tired. How much is one woman supposed to be able to do? Today, for instance, today I found out that I’m supposed to start working again on the project from HELL. One that had been shelved a year ago and brought me nothing but stress. I had to spend a lot of time today reminding myself that bills still have to be paid and I CAN’T just walk out of my job. Who can work out after that kind of day?exercise

Not to mention, if you have a significant amount of weight to lose, you won’t even see results THAT quickly. Even if you work your ass off for two weeks and manage to lose 10 pounds, you won’t see much difference. Sure, the scale might say you’re 10 pounds lighter, but do you see it when you look in the mirror? Does that 10 pounds make THAT much difference in your clothes?

No. You don’t see much difference AT ALL. Starting out or starting over sucks ass.

But here’s the thing, those first 10 pounds have got to go. You can’t lose the next 10 or 20 or 50 until that first 10 melts away.

The beginning sucks, but what follows most definitely does NOT suck. I know what I’m talking about. I DID it before. I went through that intial pain and learned that giving up sugar actually feels pretty fucking good once you get over the withdrawal and stop mourning cupcakes. Giving up sugar helped me sleep better and the sluggishness I had grown so accustomed to was gone.

Sure, the first 10 pounds weren’t real noticeable, but it wasn’t THAT long before I could feel less face in my hands when I washed my face in the morning. And it wasn’t THAT long before other people were complimenting me and asking me how much weight I had lost.

Of course, I threw all that away when life got difficult. I fell back into my old habits. The comforting arms of bread and butter were waiting and my love affair with sugar ramped back up.

I gained the weight back.

I lost the muscle.

Then I started over. Because FUCK giving up.

So it’s hard. Big deal. Anyone can do shit that ISN’T hard. I’m not just anyone. I am me and if there is one thing I’ve learned about myself over the past five decades, is that I’m pretty fucking incredible. I’m not going to beat myself up for gaining weight again and I’m not going to beat myself up for losing my muscles and my stamina. That shit doesn’t matter. What’s done is done.

All that matters is that after the shitty day I had today, I STILL got on my treadmill.

So far, I’ve lost 5 pounds. I can’t see it. I can’t feel it. I miss the FUCK out of sugar and I want nothing more than to comfort myself with gravy and meatloaf and mashed potatoes with butter.

But I’m not going to do that, because I want what I had. I want to feel better. I don’t want to limp into my fifties. I want to run in with guns blazing.

The beginning sucks ass. But it has to happen.

You don’t have to LIKE it…but you do have to endure it.

Do you want easy? Or do you want results?

Are you willing to sell yourself short? Or are you amazing and deserving of health? I’m willing to bet all the fat on my ass that you are as amazing as I am.

{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

Lacy Cooper February 26, 2013 at 10:28 pm

I have been “sugar” free for a couple of months..I have a couple of slip ups (who knew thai food had sugar in it?!?!) though honestly I don’t miss it any longer. I have been following a lot of paleo blogs and still found plenty of “good” things to eat usually made with honey. I have a similar story as you do. I guess my hang up is the anger I have at myself..for allowing this to happen..I also get angry when I work out that I am not at the same level I was. I am slowly working over this anger and just accepting where I am at though honestly it makes me hate exercising that much more…ha. Congrats on those 5 pounds!!

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Michelle February 26, 2013 at 10:35 pm

Thank you and congrats to you as well. I understand at being angry with yourself..but it really..you’ll get back there. Just like I’ll get back to where I was. All that matters is what we’re doing now. Be nice to yourself…you’re all you’ve got!

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Deb February 27, 2013 at 5:40 pm

I hear you on not seeing the change until its big change. I hated that the first 20 pounds or so I really couldn’t see but the scale assured me I had lost. I’m almost down 60 now and some days I like what I see so much I want to stand in front of the mirror naked just looking at myself. :)

See? You’ve got naked mirror time to look forward to!

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Ragemichelle February 27, 2013 at 5:48 pm

Yeah, Looking forward to that!!!

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Eva July 25, 2013 at 3:29 pm

Sometimes it is really hard to stick to the certain regime, especially when it comes to working out and diet. Lack of food makes you exhausted and you have no strength for exercising. Still, I have found a solution, with the help of militarygradenutritionals.com/blog. Their advices on proper nutrition helped me to change my life. The food you are taking can really do a lot, you just need to know which food is right for you. Now I am in much better shape than I used to be.

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Michelle July 25, 2013 at 3:31 pm

i will check that out, thanks!

Reply

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