More Rage Beauty Tips

by Michelle on January 27, 2013

My vanity has suffered some blows lately. My near constant headache for the entire Winter has made me look less like the hot grandma that I really am and more like my real grandma who is dead. It’s not a good look for me.

This is what I hear everyday:

‘Are you still sick’?

‘You look terrible’.eyeball

‘Your eyes look really bad’.

‘How’s Brad Pitt doing these days? All those kids keeping you two busy’?

Anyway, I’ve been slogging around like a crazy cat lady for way too many weeks. It’s time to start taking care of my appearance again. And as long as I’m thinking of it, I might as well pass some of these tips along to you.

Double Pony Tail¬† – If you’re going to pull your hair into a pony tail, consider making it two, once stacked up on top of the other. It makes your pony tail look twice as full and long. And if you have enough stray hairs poking out, this technique can REALLY ramp up the crazy cat lady look.

Home-made Face Mask – I had a LOVELY facial a few weeks ago with an incredible technician. I admitted my extreme addiction to anything ‘anti-aging’ and fancy packaging. If it’s packaged in a jar with twine, I am totally buying that shit. She told me to save my money. A tablespoon of greek yogurt mixed witha¬† teaspoon of powdered vitamin C is a wonderful mask. Especially if you have an uneven complexion. Which I do.

Old Pedicures – If you still have the vestiges of polish from a pedicure you got when it was still kinda warm out then it’s time to take that shit off. Trust me, I know of which I speak. I still have some purple on my big toes that looks like I’ve either been hit with a hammer or I’ve got some weird toe nail disease.

Uncle Fester Eyes – My marathon headache has given me some nice dark circles. I’d like to think that it just adds an air of mystery and just makes my peaches and cream complexion pop..but in reality, they age me by years. Getting enough sleep helps, but that’s not always an option. If you want to you cover up those dark circles, use a creamy concealer that matches your skin tone and cover with a loose powder. It’s not gonna make them perfect…but maybe they’ll end up looking just as endearing as Ashley Judd’s. And how come she looks good with dark circles when the rest of us look like we’re related to the Addams family?

My favorite beauty tip? Attitude. Attitude is most of all beauty. You keep your head held high, walk with a strut, and remind yourself EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. that you are a bad ass motherfucker. A lot of beauty stems just from that.

Okay..attitude and a good mineral foundation. me out here. Give me your best tips. I’m getting old…I need all the help I can get.



{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

KyraTX January 28, 2013 at 12:02 pm

I going to have to try that greek yogurt mask. I slather on moisturizer throughout the day. It helps me look less weather beaten.


Michelle January 28, 2013 at 12:16 pm

Good plan! I’ve always been a big fan of a good moisturizer. I think thats why I’m not all wrinkly now.


Jackie [Hot at Home] January 29, 2013 at 12:23 am

Yay for that technician that didn’t take that opportunity to upsell you on every product she carries and actually told you a truth. Natural works over chemical… every… single… time. I wish I was in that area so I could go visit her!



Ragemichelle January 29, 2013 at 7:35 am

Jackie, she was awesome. Usually, when getting a facial or a massage or something, I prefer to not talk at all, but this time I enjoyed myself. She was very helpful..lots of good information and had iron hands…GREAT neck and shoulder massage.


Val February 19, 2013 at 5:46 pm

Thanks for the beauty mask tip! (as it just so happens, I have a bottle of Vit C powder sitting on top of my desk staring at me – I was supposed to do a “Vit C flush” by taking progressively larger doses until I got diarrhea… Somehow that didn’t sound terribly appetizing so I never got around to it!)


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