12 Rages Of Christmas

by Michelle on December 9, 2012

In light of my abnormal Christmas spirit, I thought I would try my hand at a Rage version of the 12 Days Of Christmas. If you end up with the tune of the 12 Days Of Christmas stuck in your head, then HAHAHAHAHAHA…Merry Fucking Christmas from me to you.

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me curdled cream in my coffee.

On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me 2 clogged drains and curdled cream in my coffee.

On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to meĀ 3 unpaid bills, 2 clogged drains and curdled cream in my coffee.

On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me 4 shoulder shrugs, 3 unpaid bills, 2 clogged drains and curdled cream in my coffee.

On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me FIVE SHOTS OF GIN…..4 shoulder shrugs, 3 unpaid bills, 2 clogged drains and curdled cream in my coffee.

On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me 6 moldy leftovers, FIVE SHOTS OF GIN..4 shoulder shrugs, 3 unpaid bills, 2 clogged drains and curdled cream in my coffee.

On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me 7 xanax tablets, 6 moldy leftovers, FIVE SHOTS OF GIN..4 shoulder shrugs, 3 unpaid bills, 2 clogged drains and curdled cream in my coffee.

On the eigth day of Christmas my true love gave to me 8 broken ornaments, 7 xanax tablets, 6 moldy leftovers, FIVE SHOTS OF GIN…4 shoulder shrugs, 3 unpaid bills, 2 clogged drains and curdled cream in my coffee.

On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me 9 unhappy relatives, 8 broken ornaments, 7 xanax tablets, 6 moldy leftovers, FIVE SHOTS OF GIN..4 shoulder shrugs, 3 unpaid bills, 2 clogged drains and curdled cream in my coffee.

On the tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, 10 surly coworkers, 9 unhappy relatives, 8 broken ornaments, 7 xanax tablets, 6 moldy leftovers, FIVE SHOTS OF GIN..4 shoulder shrugs, 3 unpaid bills, 2 clogged drains and curdled cream in my coffee.

On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me 11 hostile barbs, 10 surly coworkers, 9 unhapy relatives, 8 broken ornaments, 7 xanax tablets, 6 moldy leftovers, FIVE SHOTS OF GIN…4 shoulder shrugs, 3 unpaid bills, 2 clogged drains and curdled cream in coffee.

On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me 12 whiny ass complaints over stupid shit that doesn’t matter and I’m trying to bake cookies AND clean the house AND make dinner AND wrap presents and a little goddamn help would be appreciated, 11 hostile barbs, 10 surly coworkers, 9 unhappy relatives, 8 broken ornaments, 7 xanax tablets, 6 moldy leftovers, FIVE SHOTS OF GIN..4 shoulder shrugs, 3 unpaid bills, 2 clogged drains and curdled cream in my coffee.

Okay..to be fair to hubs…he really didn’t give me 12 complaints. I made that up.

It was only four.

{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }

Jackie [Hot at Home] December 10, 2012 at 12:36 am

Fa la la la la, la la la laaaaaaah!!

Bravo. LOL :-)

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Ragemichelle December 10, 2012 at 10:32 am

Thank you!

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Deb December 10, 2012 at 2:29 am

LOL After today’s super shitty day, this was a laugh I needed! Maybe you can send me a couple of those shots?

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Ragemichelle December 10, 2012 at 10:33 am

I’m glad I could help your shitty day..and i WOULD give you some..but I drank them.

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Miz December 10, 2012 at 6:47 am

popping in to shout (say? :) ) I love your tweets too.

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Michelle December 10, 2012 at 11:49 am

why thank you, gorgeous!!!

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Tonyne (@unlikelytonyne) December 10, 2012 at 10:22 am

LOVE it!

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Ragemichelle December 10, 2012 at 10:33 am

XXXOOO

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Cheryl Porter December 10, 2012 at 10:45 am

Hysterical. I love it.

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Michelle December 10, 2012 at 11:50 am

Thanks! Hubs was my inspiration!

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Val December 10, 2012 at 12:10 pm

**Snort** These were terrific, I can SO relate!

I’m so far from being in the holiday spirit, I might as well be on another planet…

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Ragemichelle December 10, 2012 at 12:32 pm

tell me how to get to your planet..I’ll visit.

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