Randy and I have been talking a little bit about a change.
At first it was no more than our plans to move to New York City. It sounded like fun, but really, it was never going to happen.
Our baby boy is a Freshman in high school. I’ve been freaking out about that a little bit. I had my two boys 11 years apart, so I’ve had a child to take care of since I was 24 years old. Pretty soon that will no longer be the case. I am trying to not mourn this quite yet, but honestly, just typing this makes my heart feel like it’s gained a few pounds.
We’ll be free to do what we want.
We’re talking about scaling back.
We’ve been talking about a small condo or small house. Cheap. Tiny. Easy to maintain. And with THAT change, other opportunities will open up. Without the overhead I could afford to take a different job. What a dream that would be. A job that didn’t make me crazy or cause anxiety. Just the thought of it makes me giddy.
At this point, we have no idea where this will take place, but I’m reasonably sure there will be water, mountains or a desert involved. This living in the middle part of the country is boring. I want to wake up and look at something pretty. Not the neighbors backyard and their stupid little yappy dogs.
As I look around I realize that MOST of our posessions are entirely unnessary and really don’t add much at all to our lives. Mostly what they’ve been is a pain in the ass to move.
Our house is not large, but really, it’s more that sufficient. And when it’s just Randy and I it will have a ton of wasted space.
I worried a bit about my family. I adore my mother and can hardly bear to think about her aging, but aging she is. Shouldn’t I stay close by? Won’t I be sorry to go away?
Mom and I talked on the phone this morning and when I approached the subject as something we were just talking about, she was instantly animated. “Go”! she said. ”And don’t just talk about it! Do it”!
I know I don’t need my mother’s permission, but it makes me feel better that she is behind this idea. She didn’t even freak out when I mentioned Washington State or Oregon as a possiblity.
So, for all these years, I’ve worked to live a decent life. And we do. It’s not fancy, but I grew up with so much less. And now, I’m ready to go back to that. Except it will be on my terms.
We have time to plan, which is good. Because I have NO IDEA how to start.