We spent a few lovely days in the Great Smoky Mountains a few weekends ago. We have friends with a house in the middle of the Shire, who in addition to their home with the huge fucking deck, have a small cabin that was ours while we visited.
When I say a few lovely days, I am telling you…they were lovely. 
We entered the cabin and found it stocked with every kind of booze I love, including muscadine moonshine. The first time I had moonshine, it was strawberry and was filled with what looked to me like kitten brains. Turns out they were just strawberries that had been leeched of their color. The muscadine had little mouse brains, which are grapes, but still..I like to think of them as brains.
In addition to the booze, we had a stocked fridge, a lovely comfortable bed..really..all the comforts of home..if our home were actually that clean.
Randy and I were watching the flat screen in the cabin after spending the evening visiting with our friends and I said, you know..when people come to visit us, they really don’t get an experience like this. Don’t get me wrong…my booze is their booze, but it’s not going to be a stocked bar, because, really..it doesn’t last that long in my house. When you are a guest at our house, we have a place in the family room, on a ceramic tile floor, where you can park your blow up mattress. Or if you don’t have a blow up mattress of your own, you can use ours. It has a slight leak. You’ll start out on a nice firm mattress and wake up in a hole in the morning.
When I know I’m having guests, I spend a little time on preparing food. I like that part. And I make SURE all the hairs that collect around the base of the toilet are all cleaned up. That pretty much sums up all the preparations for overnight guests
I would LOVE to spend a nice weekend with friends and NOT feel a little inadequate. I would LOVE to feel incredibly pampered by beautiful hosts without adding to my ‘Reasons Why Michelle Sucks’ list.
Why can’t I just have a good time without the stupid ass girl in my head pointing out my failings?
Here is my one thing at a time moment: I am reasonably sure,I will even say COMPLETELY sure, that when we have people visit for an extended stay, a good time is had by all. We are gracious hosts.
I am going to keep transforming. In order to do this, I need to appreciate my assets rather than tally up my perceived shortcomings. Like I said in a previous post, getting healthy has so much more to it than dress size. I could be in perfect physical shape and that isn’t going to change any of my other unhealthy habits. In fact, I’m pretty sure that in order to have any success at all, being kinder to myself and appreciating my own glorious badassery is going to have to come first.
{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
Michelle may not be perfect, but she most definitely. Does. NOT. Suck.
Seriously… Do I need to get a hammer and pound it into your brain? You are a wonderful caring and compassionate woman who might not have the perfect life she wanted, but you still manage to be pretty fucking kick ass!
I think the hammer MIGHT be extreme.
And thank you. I need to read this every day.
Oh my God, we have the same house prep routine! I have ancient hardwoods with a covering of dog fur to your hardwood floors, but otherwise, everything rings true. Sure, the booze thing, but OHMYGODYES, the dreaded toilet hair and fuzzball collection. Why does that even have to be a thing? It pains me. You tickle me to no end. You are welcome anytime.
Thank you! I’m pretty sure mine is this way because I live with all stinky boys.No way it’s me..no way. Not me. It’s them.
I don’t think it matters if it’s boys or girls…this house has one poor lonely ole guy in it with three girls…me at 46, my oldest daughter at 19 and our daughter at 8…and our toilet looks pretty much the same. I have no doubt you’re a fantastic hostess
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We live in an old trailer, she ain’t much, but she’s ours and we own it outright. We don’t have a lot of company, but those that do visit say they’re here to see us, not our house. It’s pretty small so cramming three adults and an 8 yr old in here can get pretty cluttery
. On the other hand, I have a couple friends that are sorta the same; one’s a single girl in a little two bedroom apartment that’s more cluttered than we are and the other girl and her husband’s house is in a constant state of renovations. I too could care less what their homes look like when I visit, I’m just happy to sit and have tea or coffee with my friend 
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For all the times I do “what if”, there are more times that I’m thankful for the family and friends I do have because for the most part, they are not judgemental
. I’m sure your friends feel the same about you, they love the person that you are.
Wow..I LOVED this. And you couldn’t be more right. Thanks for that.
Since my marriage failure, I will soon be going from palatial palace to two bedroom, two bath apartment for four females. It’s sucks great big defective balls. But, my girls don’t complain at all. They were so tired of the constant negative vibes and fighting, they’re actually excited.
Of course I always clean and light a candle for company, but really, it doesn’t matter what or where your house is, or what’s inside. What matters is you and who you are to others.
Very true sister..
And I’m glad to hear that you are handling this change with grace and excitement. We’ll drink to your new place when you get settled.