Wouldn’t you like to be an imposter, too?
Okay..that’s the last time I rip off an old Dr. Pepper commercial. Promise.
When I was young, my dad made me play softball. He would brag to friends and neighbors and relatives about how good I was. He’d tell them about my home runs and my fantastic catches and how I was by far and away the best girl on the team. I was seven years old.
And I SUCKED at softball. I honestly don’t think I made it to base even once and I KNOW I never caught a ball.
I don’t know for sure, but I suspect that may have set me on my long and distinguished journey toward becoming the woman I am today. Wracked by insecurity and feeling like I’m not good enough.
Which brings me to the Imposter Syndrome. If I AM perceived as good at something, I am convinced that at any moment I will be found out. I’m not all that good at my job and sooner or later they are gonna notice. I’m not a very good writer, I’m totally running out of things to say. Sooner or later, people will see that I’m fraying around the edges and really, I just recycle my own words over and over.
Hubs sent me an article about the Imposter Syndrome and I found it FASCINATING. People who suffer from Imposter Syndrome are usually very intelligent and capable and all the things that I’m afraid I’m not.
I am an imposter imposter.
And with that, I negate my very existence. Poof.
I’m going to reread that article a few times. I’m going to keep reminding myself that this isn’t all bad…feeling like an imposter.
And the article is true, I DO feel more confident than I let on. Not all the time and not overly so..but still..I have more confidence than I show.
I played softball as a teenager and well into my 20s.
I had a few great catches and managed to get a few hits. I think I made it across the plate a few times, but I never got very good at it.