Hubs and I are watching a REALLY bad movie right now, Chillerama.
Well, he’s watching it, I’m kind of watching it and writing a blog post and playing Scramble and wrestling with my extreme impatience.
I hate how long this takes. I just want to be in shape NOW. RIGHT NOW.
Anyone who says “Well, you didn’t get overweight overnight, so you aren’t going to lose overnight, either” is getting a crotch punt.
Okay, seriously, this movie is both extremely stupid and disgusting. And my husband, who is usually a film SNOB is laughing his head off. He’s laughing at a huge swimmy sperm. Wadzilla. 
If there is anything I wrestle with, it’s this. I have been working my ass off. I’ve changed my diet in a big bad way. I’m far from perfect when it comes to my diet, but still, I’ve made some major changes.
It’s been months now. Two months.
Why am I not in a size 8?
The spermatozoa has grown teeth and has escaped. Hubs, who can go for DAYS without cracking a fucking smile, is laughing his ass off.
I’m not stopping, but I think it’s time to admit that I need to slow down. I’m working out between 80 and 120 minutes a day. I’m tired. I’m tired all the time. But I don’t stop, because I HATE FUCKING WAITING.
If I keep pushing myself, then I’ll get there faster, right?
I’m not in a race. It’s a journey. And if I think about it, I actually LIKE what I’m doing. I dig lifting weights. I am actually having a torrid, sweaty affair with my treadmill. Even the changes in my diet make me feel better.
Why can’t that be enough? Why can’t I appreciate the changes I CAN see and feel instead of straining so hard to see into the future. To what? The end? Is there an END to this?
No. This is my life now.
I must learn patience. I get impatient and I begin to feel overwhelmed which makes me feel even more tired.
Okay, even hubs had enough of the monster sperm. Looks like we’re back to rewatching Sons Of Anarchy.
We all struggle in different ways. What puts you off? What makes you feel overwhelmed?
How the fuck do you get over it?
{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
I think I will pass on the movie…
Losing weight sucks until you figure things out. I learned the hard way that I needed to make small changes. I didn’t see numbers I was thrilled with until I started working a job that had me on my feet all day.
I also used to get super pissy when I thought I was working my butt off, but that is a different story.
Yeah, I just have to stop trying to do it all at once. It just doesn’t work that way…
And I LOVE your post. Perfect timing, right?
Oh, I am so on board with this! It’s ‘I have had a healthy breakfast and been for a walk so why have I not already lost 5kg?’ or ‘I only had 1 (ONE!) (smell the sacrifice!) beer on the weekend instead of 6 so where are my abs of steel?’
The waiting for results is awful and has the potential to be so discouraging. I’m not sure where the strength comes from to persist, or even to start, but it can be hellish at times and a minute by minute battle.
Once I get on ‘the roll’ I find myself calmer and more accepting of the time it takes but I can’t really explain why or how I fear.
It sucks, right?
I’m not giving up. I am going to slow down a bit on my work outs because I can’t do it ALL AT ONCE.
This is a much needed lesson in patience..
I feel you Michelle! I wish I could look ahead and know I was going to make it, know when it was going to happen, and exactly how I was going to do it!
Also, I watched that movie a few months go. Hilariously awful!
If we could invent THAT crystal ball, we’d be so fucking rich..
Oddly, feeling the need to eat MORE makes me feel overwhelmed. Just bare with me here… I’m a workout fiend as you know AND I have a very active job. AND my metabolism is crazy high. So building muscle is hard for me. I have to eat. But I naturally eat a low-fat diet (and don’t like to cook), so it’s HARD for me to get enough calories to build muscle. So there you have it… that’s what makes me feel overwhelmed
.
What overwhelms me, aside from how slow this journey can seem, is the medication that I am on and my health problems that make it even harder for me to lose weight. I have hypothyroidism, which is not yet controlled and causes weight gain, and I am on long term steroids (which cause weight gain – and delightful ‘moon face’, or ‘pred head’ *shudder*) for crohn’s disease.
I can really empathise with this blog post. I recently started a VLCD for health reasons, which will hopefully see me having some faster results, but before this I was doing calorie counting and exercise, and was losing and regaining the same 7lbs! Rawr!
Oh man…that sucks. This is so much more difficult to do when you have added obstacles. I struggle with the thyroid issue as well. I had thyroid cancer many years ago and my metabolism changed over night when my thyroid gland was removed…
All we can do, sister, is keep putting one foot in front of the other.
Patience is a bitch.