5 Things You Shouldn’t Say To People Who Are Losing Weight

by Michelle on October 19, 2011

Yeah, so this is a cliche, but it just fucking fits.

Opinions are like assholes, everybody’s got one.

For all you people out there who don’t need to lose weight or have already lost your weight, I have some good advice for you. We all know you MEAN well, but still, there are some things that just should NOT be said to those of us who are still working on our weight loss.

1. Are you on a particular diet? Oh..you are on THAT diet. Let me give you a fucking litany of reasons you shouldn’t be on that diet. Listen, I’m gonna give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you actually base your opinions on fact and research and not because your cousin’s next door neighbor heard of somebody who’s heart exploded because he cut out carbs. Hubs lost over 100 pounds in a year by cutting carbs.You can give me a list a mile fucking long of why he shouldn’t have followed a low carb diet and you will never convince me that he’s LESS healthy now.

Appropriate response: “Shut up and have some fucking bacon”.

2. Hey there, skinny. The only time this is appropriate is if the person is actually skinny. I lost enough weight that it’s noticeable. I’m proud of my weight loss and I have tried VERY hard to be gracious when I receive a compliment. However, I am NOT skinny. I am still heavy enough that my yearly gyno appointment resulted in a slight lecture from my doctor. (And SHE could stand to lose a few pounds herself). It’s condescending and really, kinda insulting. By all means, be encouraging, offer some kind words…even if the person deflects, I’m reasonably sure they’ll appreciate it. Just be honest.

Appropriate response: “Skinny? You think I’m skinny? I can eat a whole bag of peanut butter cookies and still have room for your soul”.

3. Your clothes are getting a little tight. Have you put some weight back on? You know what? If this is the case,WE ALREADY FUCKING KNOW WE PUT WEIGHT BACK ON. Seriously. There is no need to point this out. None. Trust me, we feel bad if it happens. You pointing that shit out is NOT helping in any way.

Appropriate response: “Shut the fuck up”.

4. It’s just ONE donut. C’mon, you can have one. What the fuck, people? And they aren’t as bad as the assholes who taunt you with their delicious forbidden pastries. It’s not cute. Why do you have to be such DICKS? This isn’t easy. Cheating happens. Just let us decide when and where. We don’t need you to be the devil on our shoulder. What we need is your support.

Appropriate response: “Eat it yourself, mother fucker. Choke on it”. Or is that too harsh?

5. Hey! Are you EATING that? Aren’t you on a diet? This is the opposite of number 4. First of all, did you GO to the food police academy? Do you appreciate and learn from other people commenting on habits you might have? We don’t need your permission to eat.

Appropriate response: “Ohhh…if THIS upsets you, I probably shouldn’t tell you about the unprotected sex I’ve been having with you mom. And your brother”.

This theme reminds me of a joke:

A little boy was sitting on a park bench, shoveling down candy bar after candy bar. An old man watched for a few minutes and then says “Son, if you keep eating like that, you’re going to have bad skin, you’re gonna get fat and your health will go to shit”. The little boy says “Oh yeah? Well, my grandfather lived to be 106 years old”. The old man says, “Did he do that by eating six candy bars in a row”? The little boy says “No, he did it by minding his own fucking business”.

How about you guys? Ever hear something that MAY have been meant well, but ended up making you feel worse? What did you do? Suck it up? Or did you have your own appropriate response?

{ 35 comments… read them below or add one }

Tracy @nystoopmama October 19, 2011 at 9:30 pm

Wait a second… people actually say #3 and #5? People other than an overbearing, pain-in-the-ass mother? That’s insane. I would stab someone if they commented on how tight my clothes were.

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Michelle October 19, 2011 at 9:47 pm

Yeah…I had someone at work comment that my jeans weren’t as baggy as they had been.

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Cherie @ Cherie Runs This October 19, 2011 at 9:36 pm

Hahaha, all VERY true!! My favorite being number 5. I’m like, “Really?! Why the hell are you so concerned with my food?!” So annoying!!

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Michelle October 19, 2011 at 9:48 pm

And it’s usually someone who needs to lose weight who says it..

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YouJustWatchMeChange (@Watch_me_change) October 19, 2011 at 10:04 pm

So really it is what people AREN’T saying that is bugging me today. as a fat girl, i have noticed that whenever i don’t see someone or another for a while invariably, they will say “you’ve lost weight!” at some point in the first visit. usually the OPPOSITE is true but it is some sort of compulsion i think. BUT now that my ass has lost enough weight that somebody should say something (most people acknowledge it) i have people in my world who steadfastly refuse to notice/comment on it. Even if the person is lying at least say SOMETHING about how i worked hard. stroke my ego. don’t call me skinny. oh and when i call myself fat DO NOT say “you aren’t fat!”….yeah.

oh and the food police can suck it.

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Michelle October 19, 2011 at 10:09 pm

Yeah, I’ve had that reaction as well. I think some people just can’t stand anyone’s accomplishments or they are just really bad at compliments.

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Starfleetmom October 19, 2011 at 10:30 pm

People say idiotic things. When I was 5 months pregnant some gas station clerk asked me my due date. I told her & her reply was, “oh, my! You must be having twins!” WTF I still remember how my hormone-filled psyche reacted. I got in my car and cried. Guess what? I gained only 26 pounds with that kid & she was 9 pounds!

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ragemichelle October 20, 2011 at 6:08 am

2 months after I had my first son (I had just gone back to work) a guy at work asked if I was pregnant again. I went into the bathroom and cried.

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Jenna October 20, 2011 at 7:09 am

Another gem: “Oh my god you’ve literally lost a ton of weight/a million pounds!!”
Yes, I was previously overweight, but I was never even slightly close to weighing a ton or a million pounds.
I know they are probably just fucking stupid & they think they’re giving me this super awesome compliment, but it feels more like a backhanded way of bringing up just how fat a person used to be.
Why are we surrounded by fucking idiots?

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Michelle October 20, 2011 at 7:14 am

Yeah…that’s a good one. A guy at my work who lost weight has heard,,you used to be HUGE more than once..

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Jenna October 20, 2011 at 7:15 am

@watch_me_change, isn’t it strange how people only say “Wow, have you lost weight?” when in fact the opposite has happened? Then when you actually do lose weight no one cares to say anything?
@starfleetmom yeah I nearly punched an elderly furniture saleslady when she decided to take it upon herself to try & guess the gender of my child by saying “it must be a girl, unless you’ve always been that wide” & then tried to get me to twirl so she could judge just how wide I was.

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Lisa McLaurin October 20, 2011 at 8:48 am

ROFLMAO!!!
@starfleetmom, that woman needs to be punched in the face. And @jenna, you SHOULD have punched her, screw elderly abuse…it’s totally justified. Hey and hormone imbalances would get you off if you went to court!
I was gonna say you should have stuffed her in your trunk but then everyone would think I was a real psycho. ;-)

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ragemichelle October 20, 2011 at 1:26 pm

You shoulda gone with ‘stuff her in your trunk’ that’s some funny shit right there..

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Ericka @ The Sweet Life October 20, 2011 at 12:18 pm

Last one’s my fav. Like…I guess you shouldn’t tell people you are on a diet because of this (though it’s hard not to because you want to commit!) but ugh, when people start acting like your own personal food police, I just want to him them.

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ragemichelle October 20, 2011 at 1:26 pm

I KNOW. I’m all grown up..I don’t need assholes telling me what I should and shouldn’t do.

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Suzanne @WorkoutNirvana October 20, 2011 at 1:11 pm

Bahahahaaa…. funny stuff sister, especially the comment about your doctor heh heh. But it’s also all true… there are really stupid things you can say to people, fat or skinny or otherwise. You may not be overly sympathetic, but when I was growing up I was about as thick as a skeleton. I got LOTS of comments about how stick-thin I was, and it was NOT appreciated. Really, weight is just an off-limits topic, regardless, even if you’re at your ideal weight.

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ragemichelle October 20, 2011 at 1:27 pm

It really should be off limits..Unless someone asks and even then, tread lightly.

And you’re right, skinny people have to put up with this shit, too..just flipped around..

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Nick October 20, 2011 at 8:09 pm

How about “Is THAT all you’re going to eat?”

Yeah, that’s all I’m going to eat. Here, have the rest of my I just found out it’s been recalled for salmonella salad.

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ragemichelle October 20, 2011 at 8:30 pm

haha!! there you go!

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Lisa October 20, 2011 at 8:16 pm

Oh my god I heard them ALL!!! And more!
#1 offended me many times. It was usually vegans/vegetarians telling me how evil I was.
#2 at first it was flattering and then it got awkward.
#4 I heard and STILL hear ALL THE TIME. I hate this one. It’s so obnoxious. It happens usually at work from coworkers. It’s difficult because I’m the “odd one” at work. I eat apples and bananas. I don’t eat donuts, I’m WEIRD.

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ragemichelle October 20, 2011 at 8:30 pm

I don’t think people are TRYING to be assholes..they just can’t help themselves..

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Deb October 21, 2011 at 3:47 am

I had a few to contribute, but looks like they were covered. The “Wow! You lost a ton of weight!” one I never know quite how to feel. They noticed all my hard work and that I lost the weight, but how huge did they think I was before? :(

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Michelle October 21, 2011 at 6:29 am

Yeah..a ton?? really??? THAT is the word you want to use? People just don’t think.

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Sarah @ Running for Myself October 25, 2011 at 9:07 pm

I HATE when people at work try to get me to eat something. It’s donuts usually. Ugh! Give me a break. Don’t you think if I wanted a donut, I would EAT a donut?

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Michelle October 27, 2011 at 7:16 pm

It’s because people are assholes.

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KymberlyFunFit October 27, 2011 at 7:12 pm

You got me busting up laughing! Funnier and more on target than the Skinny Bitch books

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Michelle October 27, 2011 at 7:17 pm

THanks!!! That made my evening. I think I’m the antithesis to the skinny bitches…well..at least the skinny part.

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julie November 9, 2011 at 2:34 am

I’ve heard #5 all my life from my mom, now occasionally from my boss. It pisses me off, regardless of the source. Not too many food pushers in my life, and I’ve lost way too much weight to hear anyone’s opinion on how I’m doing it wrong. When they tell me how much success they’ve had in losing 5 pounds by not eating this and eating a lot of that, I tell them I’ve lost 50 eating whatever I bloody want. A few weeks back, I got “you’ve stopped getting fatter, why?” I actually thought that one was funny, much better than her telling me that my hair is awful. A cultural thing, I’m sure.

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Michelle November 9, 2011 at 7:57 am

It just goes to show…no matter where you are from…assholes abound. :)

Congrats on the weight loss. Eating what you want? Do tell..are you just working your ass off? I was doing GREAT until I lapsed back into my old eating habits. I realize that I cannot sustain the diet I started on, but I can still do BETTER with my diet..

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gene February 20, 2012 at 10:23 am

this is the one i got i have lost a 163lbs some one asked me if i was sick or did i mean to lose

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Michelle February 20, 2012 at 11:39 am

I really don’t think people MEAN to be insensitive…but they are.

I’m sure some are on purpose..

And it’s really hard to NOT give a smartass answer.

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Lola Turtle June 26, 2012 at 5:49 pm

I should probably comment on a newer post, but this is the one that made me officially decide I am in love with you. Hahahaha. Does laughing until your stomach hurts count as an ab workout?

My go to response for most things is usually “What an interesting thing to say to a complete stranger.” as witheringly sarcastic as possible. Substitute “coworker” for “complete stranger” where needed, etc.

If I’m feeling extra biotch, it’s more like “Oh, is it not rude to say ___ where you’re from?”

I’m definitely adding to my repertoire. “Is it shiny?” “Is what shiny?” “The badge you got when you graduated from the Food Police Academy.” hahaha!

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Michelle June 26, 2012 at 5:52 pm

Shoooot…I’ll take a comment on ANY post..new or old. I LOOOOOOVE new readers. I’m a complete attention whore, so shit like this makes my day. I’m glad you liked it! And I love your responses..I shall refer back to them and apply as needed…

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Ines Garcia October 4, 2012 at 5:47 pm

“Ever hear something that MAY have been meant well, but ended up making you feel worse?”

Yes. Mines happens to be why aren’t you ripped or buff or cut up like your brother, especially since you’re the one that’s been training him.

I created many posts about my thoughts and feelings on this and how men have lots of testosterone and women have lots of estrogen. It’s much easier for men to gain or lose in a year. But I never made a response to these people, I just used the facts like the one I just mentioned.

Great post. I had to share this one.

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Ragemichelle October 4, 2012 at 7:40 pm

Thank you thank you thank you! I LOVE it when people share.

And yes, I have heard comments that were MEANT well..but…

I’ve also heard comments that were not. Fucking assholes.

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