You know what itty bitty baby steps equal? An itty bitty booty.
Okay, it might take a shit ton of baby steps, but still…sooner or later, itty bitty booty can be yours.
I was contacted by Me You Health regarding a challenge they issued that revolved around small actions. The gist being, small actions add up to big fucking results.
I loved the daily challenge and was very pleased to note that I really didn’t have to change much for a lot of them, that these were things I have put into practice and are now commonplace for me.
However, it also reminded me: I’ve been a slacker.
Yep. Can you believe it…if you read my blog, you KNOW I stay on the straight and narrow.
Seriously though, I really took a shit ton of small actions in the beginning. I have since let them slide. Why? They weren’t all that hard. I hardly noticed any difference. In the beginning (my own personal Genesis) I swore off fast food. However, if we were traveling or if I really had no other choice (HEY! it can happen) I would order a burger with all the veggies and then throw away the top bun. Sure, it’s still a fast food burger, but half a bun is better than the whole damn thing.
I made more of an effort to plan lunches and dinners so that the normal weeknight dinner bullshit never came up.
Normal weeknight dinner bullshit:
Me: What should we do for dinner?
Hubs: I dunno, what do you want to do?
Me: I don’t care. I don’t feel like cooking. You wanna cook?
Hubs: No. I don’t feel like cooking
Me: Okay..out for wings then?
Rest of the family: WOO HOO!
Point being, I have slipped back a bit into old and unhealthy habits. This challenge has served as a reminder that it’s in my best interest to remember that small actions equal big results.
Now, I COULD give you a normal and tired out list of small actions to take to incorporate into your every day life. But where is the fun in that? Besides..you’ve seen them all already. So, here is an updated list of small actions you can take to better your health:
- Switch to a smaller shot glass when drinking tequila.
- When stealing food from the company fridge, be sure to ONLY take sandwiches made with whole grain bread.
- If you are squeamish about the whole ‘stealing’ thing, then just replace your twinkies with something healthy pilfered from a co-worker’s lunch bag. But don’t take ANYTHING from George’s bag. He doesn’t wash his hands after taking a dump. Ewww.
- Don’t just bitch. Rant and wave your hands. It will burn more calories, plus, if you are REALLY good at it, people will eventually leave you alone. And at work, isn’t that a good thing?
- Practice fidgeting.
- When you master fidgeting, practice EXTREME fidgeting. On a personal note, I am pretty sure that if I wasn’t a fidgeter, then I would weigh at least 200 pounds more than I do now.
- Sprint for the copy machine. Wait until you see another coworker heading for it. THEY won’t know it’s a foot race and you’ll win every time. So, not only will you burn extra calories, you are a winner as well!
- Compliment your boss EVERY day. This will make you nauseous and you will lose your appetite. Bonus: you are also more likely to get a raise and will therefore be able to afford that gym membership.
- Pee standing up… doesn’t count for men, but women can burn lots of extra calories by contorting themselves to hit the appropriate pee angle. Bonus point: excellent drunken party bet.
My baby boy tried to help me come up with a few ‘small actions’ to post. I rejected them all. Why? well..because they weren’t all that funny. He DID concede that perhaps he could have ‘worded’ them better. I agreed with this. I told him he could have used completely different words. And then he came up with the FINAL small action.
- Instead of just THINKING about beating up your mom, actually DO it.
I love that kid.
Good luck with your small actions. All kidding aside, that’s what gets this shit done.
Itty bitty baby steps.