I have a question for you.
If a doctor told you today, “You need to lose 40 pounds or you’ll be dead within a year”.
What would you do?
Why 40 pounds? It’s kind of an arbitrary number. It happens to be my number. Y’all have your own, so feel free to change that up to suit you.
Hubs reads sales and marketing books FOR ENTERTAINMENT. Mostly, I find him funny and entertaining and witty and intelligent. The reading of marketing books for fun? Well, we all put up with little idiosyncrasies, right?
Anyway, you can’t live with someone for 16 years and NOT learn at least a little bit about what they love, even if it doesn’t hold much interest for you.
This is what I have learned: We humans are motivated in one of two ways. Desire of gain and fear of pain. Of the two? Pain is the stronger motivator.
How bad does your pain have to be before you are no longer comfortable with it?
I’ve been at my halfway point for the past six months. I would REALLY like to drop this next 40 lbs. I would LIKE for stress to not be so detrimental to my goals.
I’ve been having some tests run for a little physical weirdness I have going on. The first thing they wanted to rule out was type 2 diabetes. And they did. I am NOT diabetic.
I KNOW how crazy this sounds (but we’ve established that I’m a bit insane, right) But a part of me WANTED the results to come back high. Not scary high, like I would need insulin or I was in danger of losing my feet. But high enough that I would have NO CHOICE but to get back on the straight and narrow. Finding out that I am diabetic would have made my pain great enough to motivate me.
Disclaimer: To any readers who have Type 2 diabetes. Try not to be TOO annoyed by this. I understand implicitly that I don’t understand what you go through.
I’ve been reading some motivational material. Both in book form and on blogs. They have GREAT ideas and if I put them into practice I’m sure I would benefit. But I’m not feeling it.
I TRIED envisioning myself at the weight I want to be. I just get distracted and start thinking about important stuff, like paying bills, car repairs and ruling the world.
I have good intentions when it comes to positive affirmations, but then I just think about Stuart Smalley and how he’s a senator now and then that morphs into thinking about other former Saturday Night Live cast members and before you know it, me and the baby boy are shouting “More Cowbell”! Sooo…you CAN’T motivate yourself to lose weight if you’re thinking about cowbells. It’s scientifically impossible.
Go ahead, find the science to prove that statement false. I can wait.
So, what I’m going to do is EXACTLY what I would do if a doctor told me I need to lose 40 pounds over the next year.
I’m gonna lose 40 pounds.
How about you? What do you need to get you motivated? Pain? How much pain?
How much pain are you already in? Isn’t it time to stop?
Wouldn’t it be nice to be free?
For a small fee, I would be willing to pretend to be your doctor and give you the dire news if that’s what it takes to light a fire under your ass.
I’m sweet like that.
{ 20 comments… read them below or add one }
For motivation take a no bullshit look at yourself naked in a mirror. Do spots jiggle that aren’t supposed to jiggle while you walk? Even if people don’t look at you and laugh about you, behind your back unless they’re insane, can you feel the jiggle?
I have the problem of thinking that today is great, at my weight, and that tomorrow will be too.
I have what I’ll call slack belly. That’s where a lot of my x-65 pounds used to live. There and my ass. I have no ass. I have done that critical look in the mirror.
I need to do it again. I’ve been, recently, 20 pounds lighter. I want to be there again, and goddammit, I am not going to Brownie’s Pizza to celebrate.
I’m turning over a new leaf tomorrow afternoon, after my wet burrito. I can do it. There’ll be better days ahead and new clothes.
You GO!! Me too!
I could come up and poke you with a cattle prod each week that you don’t reach your goal. It’s kinda like a cow bell, right?
Ohhh..I dunno..that sounds painful..can we start with something smaller. Like you could give me a lollipop?
Having read a great many psychology books and a great many more self-help books, and also having worked with a very large team of psychologists (as in I worked FOR them–I’ve only employed one of my own), I’ve studied motivated and human behavior quite a bit.
While, yes, AWAY from or fear of pain is more powerful, the problem with FEAR motivation is that it harder to sustain. As soon as you get far enough away from diabetes, for example, you’re going to slack off, and that could be 25 pounds or so before you actually get to your goal of losing 40 pounds, for example. Think of all the people who have multiple heart attacks or multiple bypass surgeries or multiple whatevers–you’d think one would be enough, but NO!
That’s why you have to have both fear and desire, because it’s desire that keeps us going even after that smaller size of pants finally buttons, or our cholesterol is back in check, or whatever.
Psychologically and behaviorally speaking, fear is not going to get you far enough. There has to be something shiny in the distance to keep you moving once you can no longer see the Big Bad behind you. Fear can only take you so far.
I do! I have shiny things waiting. First is a pair of jeans that I kinda got into in the spring and I could tell in just a few short pounds they were gonna look great!
So..first shiny thing.
I’ll get another one.
If fear can get me 25 pounds into it, I’ll take it. Although, honestly, I’m not afraid. There isn’t anything wrong with me.
This is just another example of the (waaaay toned down) thoughts that I live with every day.
In my view, all you need to know is your sweet spot. You can reread it if you like: http://www.workoutnirvana.com/want-results-better-know-your-sweet-spot/
It applies to weight loss as well as weight training. What motivates you? Looking good? Feeling good? Living longer? What IS it that would motivate you the most? Once you identify it, hang on to it with all your might, make it your gospel. That’s your sweet spot girl… I know you can find it and let it get you there.
That is one of my favorite posts of yours! It’s SUCH a good one.l
I need to go back and reread it. Thanks for posting the link, I think everyone should read that post!
I actually had a doctor tell me that I should think of my “morbid obesity” in the same light as cancer.
Before I continue, I want to issue the same disclaimer that Michelle did with the diabetes. I am just passing on what he said, and in no way, shape or form think of my being overweight anywhere remotely related to having cancer!
He told me that if I were to imagine my fat as a tumor, I would have one of two options. I could continue to let the tumor get bigger, do nothing, and eventually die. Or, I could go through chemo and radiation and surgery to remove the tumor but it takes a long time, can be painful and daunting, but will extend my life considerably.
The chemo and radiation was his way of explaining the lack of motivation on my part to eat right and exercise. It was something I really didn’t want to do – but it would be necessary to getting rid of the tumor.
It was an interesting spin on how to think of it – but again, I was a little angered at myself and the doctor that my being overweight was somehow comparable to having something as serious as cancer. I mean, I got myself overweight – people don’t have a choice with cancer.
But that’s for a different story altogether…. just wanted to drop my spin on the situation.
Did it make a difference?
And you know what, SOMETIMES people do things that they know can and probably will cause cancer.
Anyway…I’m just looking for motivation wherever I can get it.
I am SO THERE! Apparently the pain of seeing my arm the former size of my waist is not enough. I have bought shiny things in the form of clothes and it’s not working, it just takes a lot longer to get dressed in the morning putting on and taking off the self-misery in bright shades of “NOT”.
My number is 65, and unlike SOB, I will certainly STILL have a butt if, um…WHEN it’s gone.
Music seems to be a key for me to dip into the crazy that waits so I can be fierce and strong like I used to feel. Maybe that’s my shiny…that feeling that I could totally chase and kick someone’s ass if they dared mess with my kid(s) in the wrong way. (Yes, yes I do watch too much Law & Order SVU). I have to bring the kids in as a form of motivation to be their “protector” b/c obviously I cannot make myself care enough to do it for me.
As always, your posts hit right to my mushy, gushy center of the madness and force me to face it. THANK YOU!
Yes..taking care of the kids is a hugely strong motivator. and like you, music REALLY gets my ass in gear.
65 is a VERY doable number. You can kick this in the ass, sister..yes you can!
I do have Type 2 Diabetes…and a much-younger-than-I drop dead gorgeous husband…and two kids left to raise. My birth mother died from complications of not controlling her diabetes at age 48. Two years ago at age 43, I literally had to look at these motivators and decided that I wanted to live. Period. Then I had to find a doctor to help me adjust medications and get me a referral to a nutritionist, etc.
I’m not done either. I have at 10-15 lbs left to lose. Those last pounds just aren’t as important to me as being STRONG and HEALTHY. Yes, I want to lose them, but I want to see other measures of my success now as well. Better mental health via weight loss? Who knew, right? =P (Note that I didn’t say GOOD mental health, just better than I once was!)
I don’t take medication for diabetes or high blood pressure or cholesterol any more. Also, my husband thinks I am hot and sexy and wants to have sex almost daily. Woooooootsauce! I mean seriously, no sarcasm or anything. I am SO freaking motivated. ;D
I believe you can and will do it!!!!!!!!
xoxoxo
I love you to pieces!!
I’m glad you’re better. And looking at your blog..you have made AMAZING progress!!!!
and you ARE hot and sexy. If I were gay, I would TOTALLY do you.
Thanks Ndem! you are GREAT in the encouragement department!
Lose 40 pounds or I’ll come kick your ass.
HA!! Now THAT is what I’m talking about.
I think you just started a new business. I would pay to have you find my motivation! LOL! I have Type 2 Diabetes and it hasn’t been quite enough of a motivator. I KNOW! You would think it is, but, being on the borderline with non-insulin dependent, etc., is apparently not quite enough on the Michelle Pain Scale to warrant toeing the line. Just a heads up for that part of you that thinks it would be. The threat that sometime at some random point in the future you might have additional complications is not enough of a factor to overpower the brain saying “WELL JUST THIS ONCE isn’t going to actually kill you. You could eat better tomorrow and still avoid having retinal neuropathy in the future.”
I have lost 40 lbs and still have 40-60 to go (depending on how I look when I get there – muscle weighing more than fat, etc.)
I’ve had a couple of months of having trouble staying on track and I have been yo-yoing the same 5 fucking pounds. I could be like 20 lbs lighter by now if I had kept my ass in gear. That pisses me off and then makes me depressed and well, that makes me want to say fuckit and go get some chips. So, yeah, it’s a catch 22. I am determined to eventually get these extra pounds off of me.
How much do you charge to kick my ass everytime I eat chips?
This could be a good business for you. You could look at my MFP food diary every day and give me shit for the days I don’t eat healthy and then I would spend all day going “well just this once isn’t going to actually kill me. I could eat better tomorrow and still avoid having retinal neuropathy in the future, but DAMN! Michelle is gonna kick my ass if I do.”
LOL!
Cheryl
WTF??????
Okay..there is NO CHARGE for this.
cut the shit. I need you around to keep commenting on my blog and stroking my ego…and you’re being all selfish eating chips and jeapordizing that!!!
In all seriousness.. Do I know for sure that it would have been enough to motivate me? Nope. I like to think it would.
I yo -yo’d for a while..then just fell off track completely. I would love to say it’s been a bad summer and that’s my excuse..
Which is very true..but what does an excuse get me? Fucking NOTHING.
Let’s cut the shit, shall we? You and me.
We’re getting in shape and losing this last 40 lbs.
ONE TWO THREE…..GO!
“Being all selfish eatiing chips. . . ” LMAO! OK we’re so gonna do this. I’ve had a good week so far. Just gotta get through this baseball game and I’ll be good. Fuck being fat!