There are obvious things that need to change. Some really BIG things. Cultures that value women less than they value a dog. The degradation and mutilation of women. Rape, domestic abuse or just the general idea that women are the weaker sex. These are things that need to change.
I can feel bad about these things, but I can’t fix them. I can speak out against them and attempt to educate others when I read about this shit, but realistically? What will this change? Not a damn thing.
How about in MY world? What can we change that might actually be attainable?
1. Reject RIDICULOUS Body Images. Seriously girls, could we PLEASE pull our collective heads out of our asses? Please? We are built to be different. It is silly to spend any time wringing our hands about NOT looking like a super model. We aren’t all going to be lithe, dancer looking women. How is that a bad thing? Who gives a fuck? So your ass doesn’t look as good as Penelope Cruz? Is it your JOB to look good? No? Let it the fuck go. We have got to start accepting ALL types of bodies because lets face it, we’re always going to be different. And as the hubs wisely pointed out, he has to be a LITTLE suspect of any man who wants his woman to have the shape of a 10 year old boy. The point is, if we woman can’t just finally say enough is enough, then what the fuck do we expect? Can’t complain about being mistreated based on size if we can’t reject that fucked up notion ourselves.
2. Accept that women can be strong and capable. I know most of us are brought up to defer. To not raise a fuss. Keep the peace. Don’t rock the boat. FUCK that. Seriously. You know, if the rest of the world wants to label us a bitch or butch or anything less than feminine for having a fucking opinion? Well then, the rest of the world can just suck our dicks. How about that?
3. This one belongs to us. This is something that only women can change. We have GOT to STOP being our own worst enemies. We have GOT to stop viewing each other as competition or as threats. You know if you want to HATE another woman because she looks better than you at least admit that much to yourself. But let me say this, if you have no desire to take time with your hair or your makeup or bother with exercise or eating healthy, perhaps instead of hating another woman who DOES, you should examine your own habits instead and make a few changes. While I truly WISH that we could accept our bodies in all shapes in sizes, that doesn’t mean that it’s a good idea to just let yours go. If you do? That’s on you and I won’t judge you..but don’t be an ass just because other women don’t make that same decision. And if you are MY age and you hate on younger, prettier women? Sad sad sad. Why can’t we just appreciate what we DO have? Sure, I would LOVE to have my 28 year old body, no wrinkles and gray-free hair..but I wouldn’t trade my experiences and who I am today for those things.
And now it’s confession time. I was speaking with Mark Ruffalo at work today. He’s been conducting job interviews and he happened to walk by with a tallish, thin woman and I asked him if it was another interview. He said no, he wished it was though, because she was hot. (I’m paraphrasing, but that’s a close representation of the conversation). My comment? “Really? Because she looked to me like she isn’t aging very well”. Mark Ruffalo called me out on that comment, to which I replied, “I”m a girl, we’re all catty sometimes”.
Then I thought about it. What a shitty thing for me to say. That woman, who I don’t know from Adam, deserved more respect from me. Why did I say what I did? Regardless of how she is aging (and how could I know? I don’t fucking know how old she is) she was quite a bit taller and quite a bit thinner than I am. Is that who I want to be? One of those women who make snide remarks about other women just to hide the fact that they have something I want? How fucking stupid is that? Unless I plan on wearing stripper heels every day, I’m going to be a short girl. I’m working on getting thinner. Do I really need to compare myself to someone else? If I DO and I don’t like what I see, then why take it out on them? Don’t I have the problem?
Obviously, I have issues with items 1 and 3. I’m getting so much better at 2, though. In fact, I plan on saying ‘Suck My Dick’ at least once a day.
You know, I am not delusional. I can’t change these things either. But I can change who I am. Maybe if we all examined ourselves and our thoughts and our words, we could make a difference for each other.