3 Things The World Needs To Change To Make Life Easier For Women

by Michelle on June 2, 2011

There are obvious things that need to change. Some really BIG things. Cultures that value women less than they value a dog. The degradation and mutilation of women. Rape, domestic abuse or just the general idea that women are the weaker sex. These are things that need to change.

I can feel bad about these things, but I can’t fix them. I can speak out against them and attempt to educate others when I read about this shit, but realistically? What will this change? Not a damn thing.

How about in MY world? What can we change that might actually be attainable?

1. Reject RIDICULOUS Body Images. Seriously girls, could we PLEASE pull our collective heads out of our asses? Please? We are built to be different. It is silly to spend any time wringing our hands about NOT looking like a super model. We aren’t all going to be lithe, dancer looking women. How is that a bad thing? Who gives a fuck? So your ass doesn’t look as good as Penelope Cruz? Is it your JOB to look good? No? Let it the fuck go. We have got to start accepting ALL types of bodies because lets face it, we’re always going to be different. And as the hubs wisely pointed out, he has to be a LITTLE suspect of any man who wants his woman to have the shape of a 10 year old boy. The point is, if we woman can’t just finally say enough is enough, then what the fuck do we expect? Can’t complain about being mistreated based on size if we can’t reject that fucked up notion ourselves.

2. Accept that women can be strong and capable. I know most of us are brought up to defer. To not raise a fuss. Keep the peace. Don’t rock the boat. FUCK that. Seriously. You know, if the rest of the world wants to label us a bitch or butch or anything less than feminine for having a fucking opinion? Well then, the rest of the world can just suck our dicks. How about that?

3. This one belongs to us. This is something that only women can change. We have GOT to STOP being our own worst enemies. We have GOT to stop viewing each other as competition or as threats. You know if you want to HATE another woman because she looks better than you at least admit that much to yourself. But let me say this, if you have no desire to take time with your hair or your makeup or bother with exercise or eating healthy, perhaps instead of hating another woman who DOES, you should examine your own habits instead and make a few changes. While I truly WISH that we could accept our bodies in all shapes in sizes, that doesn’t mean that it’s a good idea to just let yours go. If you do? That’s on you and I won’t judge you..but don’t be an ass just because other women don’t make that same decision. And if you are MY age and you hate on younger, prettier women? Sad sad sad. Why can’t we just appreciate what we DO have? Sure, I would LOVE to have my 28 year old body, no wrinkles and gray-free hair..but I wouldn’t trade my experiences and who I am today for those things.

And now it’s confession time. I was speaking with Mark Ruffalo at work today. He’s been conducting job interviews and he happened to walk by with a tallish, thin woman and I asked him if it was another interview. He said no, he wished it was though, because she was hot. (I’m paraphrasing, but that’s a close representation of the conversation). My comment? “Really? Because she looked to me like she isn’t aging very well”. Mark Ruffalo called me out on that comment, to which I replied, “I”m a girl, we’re all catty sometimes”.

Then I thought about it. What a shitty thing for me to say. That woman, who I don’t know from Adam, deserved more respect from me. Why did I say what I did? Regardless of how she is aging (and how could I know? I don’t fucking know how old she is) she was quite a bit taller and quite a bit thinner than I am. Is that who I want to be? One of those women who make snide remarks about other women just to hide the fact that they have something I want? How fucking stupid is that? Unless I plan on wearing stripper heels every day, I’m going to be a short girl. I’m working on getting thinner. Do I really need to compare myself to someone else? If I DO and I don’t like what I see, then why take it out on them? Don’t I have the problem?

Obviously, I have issues with items 1 and 3. I’m getting so much better at 2, though. In fact, I plan on saying ‘Suck My Dick’ at least once a day.

You know, I am not delusional. I can’t change these things either. But I can change who I am. Maybe if we all examined ourselves and our thoughts and our words, we could make a difference for each other.

 

{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }

Mary June 3, 2011 at 11:52 pm

I’m not a huge Sarah Silverman fan, but she said something on Twitter once that I loved and held on to; it was something to the effect of “New Feminism: we don’t need men to treat women equally, we need women to treat each other less shitty.” I couldn’t agree more.

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ragemichelle June 4, 2011 at 10:34 am

That very succinctly says exactly what I wanted to say. :)

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BeyondWillpower June 4, 2011 at 11:09 am

Love this post, so true. :)

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ragemichelle June 4, 2011 at 8:12 pm

I know I can’t change the world, but I am really working on changing me. We need each other and wouldn’t it be cool if we stopped working so hard against each other?

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Krystal June 4, 2011 at 11:35 am

Ah I love this post. We really do need to treat each other better. I’m not terrible about it but I know that I can be a catty person. I wanna get better at it. I gotta stop letting the women who do it around me to make it so easy for me to join in and say oh yeah those pants look terrible. I gotta start calling my friends on it because I barely notice what other people are wearing unless it’s truly awesome. If they’re wearing a short dress I actually don’t notice but I have two friends who always comment on girls wearing more revealing clothes just because they don’t wear it. It’s silly. I love this post.

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Michelle June 4, 2011 at 2:20 pm

Yeah, I’m with you. It IS easy to just follow along and be catty..but we are doing ourselves a great disfavor with this behavior.

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Janece Suarez June 4, 2011 at 12:19 pm

Awesomesauce. Seriously. We as women need to love and accept both ourselves and each other.

Well done, my dear!

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Michelle June 4, 2011 at 2:18 pm

Thank you, Girly girl!! I am really going to work on this. I felt terrible after making that snide remark. I tried to take it back, but Mark Ruffalo says I can’t.

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Amy Benitez June 4, 2011 at 5:29 pm

I’m a new reader and I wanted to leave you a comment to say I LOVE this entry. In high school I thought girls judging girls (often more harshly than guys) was a high school thing and then I got to college and it was the same song, except we were all older. Now I’m in graduate school and it’s still the same thing. This is clearly not an age-related issue. I would love to see myself and my female peers striving to put admiration and respect in front of insecurity and jealousy. Very well written! I’ll be checking back!! :)

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Michelle June 4, 2011 at 6:02 pm

I’m so glad to meet you! I LOOOOOOVE new readers. :) And yes, this never ends..in ways, it gets more harsh.

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Roe June 4, 2011 at 8:11 pm

I love this. I always do my best to be the friend to my girlfriends that I want them to be for me. I think as women we’ve been taught that we need to be catty and envious of each other. In reality, when we’re there for each other, we improve our own lives.

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Michelle June 4, 2011 at 8:16 pm

That is absolutely right! If we truly banded together…holy fuck! We’d be running everything.

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Patty June 4, 2011 at 9:13 pm

New reader – and I completely agree with you! I think by posting your comments, you have atoned for them so it’s sort of like a “take back”. I have noticed that how we (women) treat each other in the workplace is even worse than school – it’s really where our worst insecurities come out. It’s like we think that we should not help each other for fear we will never get our own chance. Men are so good at self-promotion and for promoting each other – even if there is no personal connection or where they don’t like each other. If women did this – instead of tearing each other down – we really would have the ultimate sisterhood!!! And you are so right, we would be unstoppable! Best we can do – be conscious and keep those “thoughts” to ourselves, be positive and choose to support, mentor and coach our fellow females every chance we can! Kudos on an interesting and challenging blog!

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Michelle June 4, 2011 at 9:23 pm

Thank you so much! Glad you’re reading. I ramble a lot, but I usually have a point somewhere. As far as changing and atonement..well, a week ago, I would have SWORN that I wasn’t THAT female. I am a champion for us, I’m not mean and petty. And then I made that remark. Hubs, very kindly, pointed out that the incident wasn’t isolated. He REMINDED me that I often compare myself to women my own age, especially if it’s obvious that I’ve aged better than they did. SO…yeah. I really have some work to do.

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Kris @Krazy_Kris June 4, 2011 at 9:43 pm

Oh dang – I hate it when that happens. I LOVE to be snarky, but I do somewhere deep inside wonder if its bad for my health.

Geeesh – who are we????

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Michelle June 4, 2011 at 11:21 pm

I know…it’s kind of unsettling.

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