I would love to claim that I don’t care what other people think.
It would also be nice to not wonder what the current season’s must have lip gloss shade is. Or whether or not I can afford whatever the current ‘It’ bag is.
I have never been able to completely curb my compulsion to buy nearly all of the women’s magazines. Fashion, shopping, gossip, advice..they are ALL good. Honestly, I couldn’t afford to buy much of what is advertised and quite frankly, as I never found the fat girl version of Lucky Magazine, they didn’t cater to my size. Even though it’s more likely I could find my size now, I STILL can’t afford what they have to offer.
I don’t subscribe anymore. And really, I mostly DON’T buy them. Except for when I do. I bought one recently and I don’t remember which one it was, I just know it pissed me the fuck off. I don’t know WHY I got so pissed. It’s not like the headline wasn’t like every other fucking headline you read in those magazines.
267 ways to drive him WILD in bed! Let me help you out with this one. All you have to do is say yes. Trust me…all they want is a yes.
Could YOU have the silent disease that kills a quarter of ALL women EVERY year? Why yes I could. I’m a fucking hypochondriac, thanks for another sleepless night. Asshole.
Get the PERFECT little black dress for LESS than $500. Really? How about I make my fucking car payment instead?
But it wasn’t any of those headlines that pissed me off. It was this one: How to wear your eyeshadow in your 20s, 30s, 40s and beyond!
How to wear my eyeshadow? Fuck you. I know how to wear my eyeshadow. Once you reach 40, less is more. Stick to just one shade and NEVER use black eyeliner. Again, I say fuck you. You can have my black eyeliner when you pry it from my cold dead fingers.
Why do I care about this? What on EARTH would compel me to change the way I wear my eyeshadow just because some twit who knows NOTHING about my eyes says I should stick to one shade?
Every morning is like arts and crafts in Kindergarten.
Only instead of glitter and glue and macaroni, I have tubes and sticks and tubs and pallets of every shade of eyeshadow you can imagine. Every morning is arts and crafts time for me and I never get tired of the ritual. Stick to ONE neutral shade? Oh sure, that is like telling 5 year old me that she can only glue one ONE piece of macaroni and she gets no glitter at all. Where’s the fun in that?
Who says there should be rules?
Who cares about this? If it makes you happy when you are 80 years old to wear mint green eyeshadow and plum mascara, I say layer it on with a putty knife. Have at it! That’s what I’m going to do. When I’m 80, I am dying my hair jet black and wearing purple lipstick every fucking day. And do you know what? I am going to look GOOD.
Why do we, and by we I mean us girls, feel so compelled to judge and sneer at each other?
We’ll decide if someone is dressed ‘age appropriately’ and comment on the height of the heels, the length of the skirt, and the highlights in the hair.
I am in no way excluding myself.
I am guilty as well. My criticism usually revolves around theme clothes worn during holiday seasons. Why do I care? If you want to wear a fuzzy sweater with a snowman on it and Christmas bulb earrings..well, that’s great.
I am so digging the new me.
I’m excited to buy new clothes. It feels good to consider something because it looks good on me, rather than buying clothes that cover as much as possible. I don’t give a shit what anyone else thinks about what I decide to wear. I want to dress for me. It’s been a long time since I could buy clothes that didn’t have an X in the size. If I want to wear something slutty at my age, I’ll wear something slutty at my age.
I will continue to wear a darker shade in the crease of my eyelid. I’ll have days when I go for the dewy look or the shimmery look or the matte finish. Sephora® will continue to take way too much of my money, because fat or thin, the makeup has always been there for me. I’m not changing and I don’t give a SHIT if it’s ‘time’ to or not.
We have to start accepting ourselves.
We don’t have to explain our choices and we certainly don’t have to apologize for them.
Where ever you may be in YOUR weight loss journey, find a reason to be happy with yourself , right now. Not 100 pounds from now or 10 pounds from now. Right now. Don’t let anyone tell you what your reason should be and don’t let them suggest that you are wrong.
Unless you really do wear theme clothes. Please stop.