I guess getting older is better than the alternative, but I have this to say about getting older. FUCK getting older. There is a lot about it that sucks ass. And getting older NOT for wussies.
With that being said, aging feels cool. I like me better than I did when I was a younger. I have more fun now than when I was younger. When I was younger, I was always looking forward. Looking to a time when things would be easier, when I’d have more money, and when I’d be happier.
It’s taken a lot of years, but I can honestly say I’ve learned to live in the moment. I don’t look to a time when things will be better. Either they will or they won’t which doesn’t mean shit right this moment.
In any case, there are things that I can’t do anymore. It would be NICE to be able to do things I could do when I was 20 years old. Add 28 years to that and things just aren’t the same anymore.
1. Touch my toes above my head - Yep. I used to be able to do that. I could stand against a wall and raise my leg until my toes touched the wall above my head. Sure, I needed HELP to do that, but still, how many of you can claim to be that flexible. As an older woman, I am still pretty fucking flexible, but I think those 20 year days of flexibility are gone for good.
2. Wear a bikini - Okay, I COULD wear one if I wanted, but it would NOT be pretty. I don’t care how much weight I lose by bathing suit season, this old body is never gonna look good in a bikini. Too many miles, too many pounds gained and lost, and too many kids born. But a cute little set with board shorts and a tankini top? Yes, I do believe THAT is in my near future.
3. Party all night - It would be GREAT to stay up all night hanging with friends and acting up. I think last summer, I stayed up until 3:00 AM one time. I recall the next day being difficult.. Honestly, I think a good part of the week was difficult. Hubs and I have a GOOD time when the weather is warm. However, midnight is a good stopping time.
4. Wear high heeled shoes - Okay, I DO sometimes still wear high heeled shoes. They look so good, but they feel like crap. Why on Earth would I torture myself every day by walking on stilts? I’ll break an ankle. I’ll have sore feet all day long. I’m sure, from time to time, I will continue to wear the death trap shoes, but every day? Fuck that. Give me flip flops, ballet flats, and my Chuck Taylors®. I might COLLECT the fun shoes, but that doesn’t mean I have to wear them, right?
5. Wait - I have no time left to wait. If I’m going to accomplish the things I desire, then it’s time to stop dreaming and time to start acting. There is no more time for dreaming. None. I cannot afford to wait anymore. I cannot wait to complete getting into shape. If I want to go to school, I need to go to school. If I want to finish the writing project I’ve been toying with for TEN years, then I need to fucking finish it. If I want to change jobs, then I need to start looking for a new job. I don’t have the luxury of hazy future years. Those years are here now. They’ve BEEN here for a while. It’s time to stop waiting and time to start doing.
Age isn’t a reason to give up. Age isn’t a reason to limit ourselves. Perhaps adjustments need to be made. That might be true. But if you are my age or older, what do you want from life? Don’t wait any longer. Don’t wait to get into shape. Don’t wait to learn how to knit. Don’t wait to learn how to change your own oil. Don’t wait get your degree. Do it now.
If you are much younger than me? Well, you’ll get here before you know it. You shouldn’t wait either. Get on with living your life. Don’t wait for some shady, hazy future for things to be different. Make your own differences. Decide what you want and go fucking get it!