How Thick Is Your Skin?

by Michelle on February 22, 2011

Mine is pretty fucking thick. I’d go as far as to say my skin is thicker than my waistline and that is saying something.

My hubs is the reason for this post. He expressed a concern a couple days ago regarding the eventuality of someone posting a mean comment to my blog. Whether it be for my writing skills, subject matter or the size of my ass, sooner or later, someone will be mean about it.

I’ve had a few days to contemplate this. I have the stomach virus from hell and have been knocked on my ass. In the first 24 hours, I only left my bed to vomit. I pulled muscles in my rib cage from vomiting so hard. This is not a joke. I really did, so don’t make me laugh. It fucking hurts.

Anyway, it gave me time to think about my reaction to criticism. I will be the first to admit, I am NOT good at the criticism. I have a shit ton of insecurities and criticism will wake most of them up and make them holler. However, I don’ t think this issue is quite the same thing. Or maybe it is, I’m not a fucking psychologist.

Here’s the thing, this is what it boils down to: I was called a big fat girl by a toddler. Any mean spirited comment coming from an adult is filtered through their own insecurities. Or perhaps they have the emotional maturity of a blue berry muffin and need to stomp on others to feel good about themselves. Why the fuck would I care about any opinion formed in such a manner? But a toddler? Man, the very young just speak from the heart, don’t they? If I can process THAT insult, then the rest doesn’t matter.

I have since decided that my skin is thick enough to handle anything. I KNOW I’m kicking ass and getting into shape. I admire the shape of my big bad self more and more every day. I have a blast writing this blog. Am I a pro? Profound? Nope. But who gives a fuck? I’m having a great time.

Which leads me to an awkward and clumsy segue.

In case you ARE one of those people, and really, I’m focusing on those of you who ridicule the large people, I have a question.

First, let me make a disclaimer: Any skinny people reading this who have never judged another person for being overweight, or picked on another person for being overweight, or rolled their eyes at a fat person, this is NOT for you.

For the rest of you, here is the question.  Why?

Why do you care so much if another person is fat? I’m sure most of you are kind and compassionate people. But why do you turn into dickheads when it comes to fat people?

You know what it reminds me of? High school. The uber popular kids had it all. They were respected, they were adored, they had the high school world at their feet. Why couldn’t that have been enough? It never was, though. And again, it’s not ALL of the popular kids, but enough to make a generalization. Why in hell did you have to pick on the completely unfortunate? Did it make you feel good? You already had EVERYTHING, what did you possibly have to gain by stomping on the those kids whose lives were already hell?

High school ends, the behavior does not. It’s the same fucking thing. The bullying behavior should end. The only way it will is for all of us to admit our behavior.

If you are skinny and you are reading this and you see ANY part of this in yourself, then can you do me one small favor? Can you ask yourself WHY? Be honest. Maybe, you’ll learn something about yourself. Maybe you’ll open yourself up a little bit. Perhaps, and this might be a stretch, but perhaps you could stop hating yourself a little bit. Because the only reason why I can imagine why ANYONE would be so hateful is because they draw the hatred from how they feel about themselves. Again, I am not a psychologist. It could be that you’re just a dick.

If you do find that maybe your views are bigoted or bullying or judgmental and that you’d like to try to change, then great! That would be helpful. It might give some of us larger people a little breathing room. Then we can change. Then we can go to the gym without fear of being sneered at. We can eat a piece of birthday cake in a restaurant without worrying that the rest of the patrons are judging us. We can stop being embarrassed to exist. And the REALLY big people? Well, maybe they can cease being invisible.

Or, maybe it won’t do a damn thing.

Your takeaway from this? If you find yourself being hurt by the comments of others, find away to toughen up. It’s their fucking problem, not yours. And if you’re one of those that can’t keep your mouth shut when you see an overweight person? Grow the fuck up and shut the fuck up.

{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }

Suzanne @WorkoutNirvana February 23, 2011 at 11:47 pm

Shit. Did I say something wrong? I hate people who are assholes. If I said anything that offended, PLS let me know. It would’ve been a total, complete, misunderstanding, b/c I do not make fun of people’s weight. Everybody has things they’re working on, including skinny people. I feel horrible. I kid a lot… I hope I didn’t say something really stoopid.

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ragemichelle February 24, 2011 at 8:13 am

You CRACK ME UP! NO! You didn’t say anything. You don’t strike me as the cruel type.

And it’s not like I”m not guilty of being snarky, I really am. I just try to not be cruel. I don’t always succeed.

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Suzanne @WorkoutNirvana February 23, 2011 at 11:50 pm

Oh yeah, I said I hated ugly twitter avi’s. I hate it when people don’t bother to put up a decent pic. You know, orange ones, ones you can’t see, etc. That was right after I put one up of myself, admittedly right after having my hair done. I don’t really hate ugly avi’s, it was just a rant. I’m kind of ugly myself actually. Under eye circles and quite a few wrinkles which you can’t see in my pic. I’m old.

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ragemichelle February 24, 2011 at 8:14 am

You are not. Goober.

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ragemichelle February 24, 2011 at 9:43 am

Ohh..and I think you are gawjus dahling…

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DareToBecome March 1, 2011 at 4:15 pm

This is the first time I’ve visited your blog. I was cruising twitter profiles after my major “twitter house” clean up and saw that you had a blog. Second – I LOVE your style and how you speak from the heart. Lastly – you are 100% correct with this perception I think -> “Because the only reason why I can imagine why ANYONE would be so hateful is because they draw the hatred from how they feel about themselves.” There is absolutely no excuse for people to be mean. As a mother of 3 kids from the ages of 7-20 I can’t tell you how many times in life I’ve firmly said “BE NICE!”. Seems to me that grown ups need to hear this even more.

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Michelle March 1, 2011 at 8:02 pm

First of all, Thanks so much for you kind comments! And secondly, I KNOW! What the fuck is wrong with people? I will be the first to admit that I’m somewhat of a crabby girl. Moderately to severely impatient. But I am not cruel and I am not mean spirited. The very few times in my life that I have been cruel, I’ve regretted and I regret it to this day. I wouldn’t want to be me if I were cruel. And as I am learning, it’s pretty fucking awesome to be me. :)

Glad you like the blog. Stick around. I got loads of opinions.

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ChelseaBeingReal March 6, 2011 at 4:43 pm

So, the same situation has happened to me AT WORK. Ya know, the place where you’re supposed to be a friggin professional? The place where we are all supposed to be educated? My supervisor turned a blind eye to the fact that this older military-type dude, literally puffed out his cheeks and held out his hands around his waist to describe me, IN FRONT OF ME! WTF? This is not OKAY behavior in my opinion…. asshole.

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Michelle March 6, 2011 at 4:51 pm

What a fucking dick!! I hope his testicles rot off..or he gets non-life threatening ass cancer. OH, wait! I know..I hope he gains all the weight that my husband and I have lost. fuckstick.

Can’t believe your supervisor didn’t say anything. That is just so wrong. Although, mine wouldn’t have either..he would have just laughed.

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