You KNOW you cheat. I cheat. My husband cheats. As I’ve recently said, he’s lost 103 lbs in 8 months, but still, he cheats.
Since I am not privy to the diet habits of every human on the planet who is attempting to alter their diet habits, I cannot definitively say that EVERYONE cheats. I’m sure some people stick to a rigid diet 100% of the time. I’m sure there are people who never eat cake, candy, ice cream, cheese cake, baklava, cream horns, donuts, cheesecake, pastries, strudel or danish.
I have an opinion on that, but I hate to offend, so I’ll keep it to myself.
HA HA HA! Who am I kidding? I don’t give a crap about that. To those people, I say..have a fucking piece of birthday cake. Lighten up. You’re gonna die one day. Seriously, a piece of cake is in order.
With that being said, please think about HOW you cheat. If you are gonna cheat (and you know you are), don’t fucking waste it on a Twinkie®. Okay, sure, I have had my Twinkies®. There have been times when a Twinkie® was the perfect snack, but not now; not when I’m trying to lose weight.
The thing about cheating on a diet; you can’t do it often. The cheat HAS TO BE SPECIAL. If a cheat’s special, then it can’t be a fucking Twinkie®. A Twinkie®, or really, any snack food that comes from a company that begins with ‘host’ and ends with ‘ess’ is low-rent cheating. Don’t waste your extra calories on low-rent cheating. (Unless it’s battered and deep fried. Yes, that is red neck as fuck, but DAMN it’s good).
Personally, I loves me a piece of lemon pound cake from that over-priced coffee house like I love frozen crazy. Still, I would say that was lower middle class cheating.
Have you ever been to a restaurant that serves lava cake that has to be ordered when you order your meal or it won’t be done on time? I have. They rock. That would be middle class cheating.
High class cheating? Grandma’s homemade apple pie. Grandma’s pie is high class cheating (at least I think it would be). All my grandparents are dead. My nice grandma didn’t bake pies. She made some wicked ass fudge and these little cream cheese balls rolled in coconut that would make your tongue hard, but no pie. My mean grandma? I wouldn’t have eaten ANYTHING she cooked without getting a tetanus shot first. I would be willing to bet that you all have someone in your family who makes a killer pie.
THAT is what you wait for. A piece of kick ass pie or a brownie sundae for your birthday. Maybe, a donut that you KNOW just came out of the fryer and is going to melt like butter in your mouth.
Save your cheats for some rocking calories.
Leave the Twinkies® for the skinny people. They’ll catch up sooner or later.