You Think It’s Butter, But It’s Not…

by Michelle on November 23, 2010


Well, okay.  It IS butter.

I had a slight banana bread incident today. I would LOVE to report that I am beating myself up for it, as I usually do, but not this time. Fuck it. It was good.

At lunch today, my salad came with two slices of banana bread. I kept one and gave one to a fuzzy headed co-worker. I offered him one of the little tubs of fake butter, which are so much not a good butter substitute, but still, better than no butter at all. He declined, as I knew he would. Which is a great choice . Healthier.

But still. No butter?

That’s just not right.

I can explain this. The reason is my co-worker, (Again, I want to respect other people’s privacy, so I will refer to this co-worker as “Fozzy”) is a baby. He’s not even 30. He’s a few months younger than our oldest child.

People my age grew up eating butter. Unless your house was a strict margarine house. By the way, the margarine people? They were doing it wrong.

We put butter on everything. Have a wonderfully healthy head of broccoli? Steam and cover it in a stick of butter. That’s health food, right there. We fried everything in butter. I had a friend, back a zillion years ago, who used to mix a stick of butter with sugar and eat it right out of the bowl.

As much as I LOVE butter, I never took to the butter and sugar thing, that’s just gross. Although, when I was very small, I remember sugar bread being a daily snack. White bread. Butter. Granulated sugar.

And I was SKINNY as a little kid.

Point is, these babies(the fozzy bears) grew up with healthier views on food. We parents started getting better information on the importance of a good diet for kids. We learned a lot about better eating habits. Kids like Fozzy have a great advantage of learning better eating habits at a young age.

On the other hand. Butter is awesome. Every time I see Fozzy eat dry wheat toast at lunch, I kind of feel sorry for him. Because, ewww. Toast needs butter.

Oh. And toast should be made of white bread.

I will concede that my early bad habits probably contributed to the size of my ass.

I’m still not sorry that I ate sugar bread as a kid.

Here’s the thing, I can make excuses for my bad eating habits. That’s how it was when I was a kid. Of course, I can only speak for kids I knew growing up.

I grew up in a poor neighborhood and I can tell you this, we ALL had shitty diets. I can’t tell you how many times we had pizza from a box or Chinese food in a can. My best friend, who lived two doors down, often had malted milk for dinner because there was no food in the house. When there was food, there was butter. I used to love to eat at her house. Her mother made fried chicken. My  mom made fish sticks.

There are excuses and there are reasons.

Holding on to them and making them valid excuses or valid reasons does NOTHING to help shrink the size of your ass.

Reasons and excuses just get in the way.

Personally, I do not believe butter is inherently bad. Low fat people would disagree. I still eat butter. I’m down 38 lbs. I have 32 to go.

In the end, it doesn’t matter what you chose. Chose something. Make a change.

I’m gonna keep eating butter.

{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }

Angela November 23, 2010 at 11:47 am

Totally agree. I am a huge fan of Michael Pollan’s books,which talk about how our ancestors didn’t have these health problems and how we should eat more like them.


Michelle November 23, 2010 at 11:56 am

Hi Angela!

I am not familiar with Michael Pollan at all. I think I’ll look him up on our next trip to the library. Thanks!


Angela November 23, 2010 at 11:48 pm

You will love him. He was also the person behind Food, Inc.


Michelle November 24, 2010 at 1:37 pm

Well hell..if HE’S the person behind Food, Inc. then I already have a statue built in his honor in my backyard. :)

Have a nice holiday!


Cheryl November 24, 2010 at 3:43 pm

Sugar bread is the BOMB! LOL! Maybe once or twice a year I’ll still eat it. My version is basically cinnamon toast. Toast, butter, sugar and cinnamon. Yum. There has to be enough butter on the toast for the sugar/cinnamon to mix with it and get moist. Otherwise, it’s not the same and your sugar just falls off when you try to eat it. I am also not sorry that I ate these as a kid. I know that I can’t have it every day or every week or even every month, but once in a while as a treat is OK by me. I probably even go whole years without having it. So I don’t sweat this particular treat.


Michelle November 24, 2010 at 4:14 pm

Yeah, I haven’t eaten that since I was a kid, although I LOVE cinnamon toast. Too bad I don’t eat bread anymore. :(

Anyway..I hope you have a MARVELOUS holiday!


Joyce Cherrier November 24, 2010 at 3:45 pm

I totally related to this post! We grew up on milk toast (toast, milk, sugar in a bowl) and I happen to like buttering it first. It takes all I have to not use butter. Now I used butter buds kind of stuff to help get over the butter hump. When it’s a “cheat” day, butter is on the list. ;) Loved your post!


Michelle November 24, 2010 at 4:13 pm your avatar. That’s like a science fiction body in my world. :) Anyway, you look great! I should probably look into these ‘butter buds’ that you speak of. It sounds kinda healthy and thoroughly unsatisfying, but I’ll give them a shot.

Happy Thanksgiving!!


Mel November 24, 2010 at 6:34 pm

Butter is fine for those who love it, but I must have Mediterranean ancestors, because I’m all about olive oil lately. Either way, I like that you have something you plan to live with an not budge on. We all have to stand for something. Right?


Michelle November 24, 2010 at 6:48 pm

Okay, this made me laugh!

You’re right. I took a stand. On Butter. Butter? Really, I take a stand on something and it’s a dairy product?

I’m going to fly in January knowing FULL well that my son and I could be photographed nakedish and/or felt up and I, apparently, am okay with this.

But butter? Don’t fuck with my butter. :)


neilb November 24, 2010 at 7:30 pm

Over here they sell some stuff called I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter. Well, I can’t believe it’s not butter! Our local Sainsbury’s sell their own brand? And, you know, I can’t believe it’s not I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter. So, do you get I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter? I mean, you know the stuff that I can’t believe is not butter is called I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter? Well, I can’t believe the stuff that is not I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter is not I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter, and I can’t believe that both I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter and the stuff that I can’t believe is not I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter are both, in fact, not butter. And I believe they both might be butter in a cunning disguise. And, in fact, there’s a lot more butter around than we all thought there was.


ragemichelle November 24, 2010 at 7:40 pm


your post both made me laugh really hard AND get a headache. Both at the same time.

You have a very real talent, my friend.

Butter in a cunning disguise. I just went and checked my fucking butter..just to make sure it’s really butter. Good news is, It’s really butter.


Suzanne @WorkoutNirvana November 25, 2010 at 12:33 am

Aw, you are so lovable! However, I don’t relate with the butter thing. Hehe. Yes, I grew up in Texas where grease and butter rule. But today – no butter. You should do whatcha want Michelle. I personally am glad that you are not feeling guilty about butter. You sound happy, and that’s what matters. Now have a rich, fabulous Thanksgiving babe!


ragemichelle November 25, 2010 at 4:06 am

Well, I gave up a shit ton of other things. Like sugar. Bread. Cookies. Donuts. Really, all that is good. And as far as the butter goes, it’s in moderation.

Happy Thanksgiving to you, too!


Gayla Tanner November 25, 2010 at 10:41 am

Wait, I thought condiments didn’t have calories!

Happy Thanksgiving Michelle. =D


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